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Monday, January 19, 2009

My day... and my list I posted on facebook @ 10:07 PM

Wishes every moment in my life was equivalent to that of when I smell fresh coffee in the morning and I have absolutely nothing on my mind except where my keys are... I wake up fresh.. thinking everything is going to be just fine, and people are going to be equal.. And then I realize... Nothing is ok and no one is equal. The one you love does not love you and the one who loves you, well you do not love. Even when you are in love with someone and they are in love with you, your mind is playing games..... Does he/she really love me??? Eventually you get to the point in your relationship that you do things that either you or the other person cant forgive... and as far as forgetting that's not even within reach... Every moment your breathing your wondering am I where I should be... Am I all I can be??? Did I make the right choices??? Getting past that is easier said than done....


So I wanted to make a list of things that I think make me who I am as a person... Good and Bad.....


1. I have been in and out of the USAF
2. I am slightly allergic to chlorine
3. I am highly allergic to ants, sulfa, and strawberrys
4. I google EVERYTHING.
5. number 4 is in response to having been googled by parents...
6. I dont trust YOU
7. I keep secrets.
8. It is hard for me to make enemies
9. I am quick to judge and I am normally right
10. If I cant read who you are I am scared of you....

1. When I get in my car I dont think it automatically locks the doors fast enough so as soon as my door is closed I press that lock button!!!

2. I always seem to find the odd numbers in things... I set my volume on everything to an odd number. I never have an even number of socks.... etc etc...

3. I have lived enough in 24 years for 2 people....

4. I keep secrets.. Not because they are in fact secrets, but because I don't broadcast my life... There are enough upsets in life... why bring on more..

5. I NEED COMMUNICATION!!! In my life I have seen so many people die... from suicide and random horrible events... this has set me up to be one of those people that needs to know that everyone in my life is OK... If your on a trip or your doing something out of the norm please dont get pissed if I "bombard" you with random texts or calls... Its my way of saying hey I love you... DUH!!!

6. I am very much up to par on my history and current events... I love to argue my position... and I would love for you to argue yours... Dont let this separate us... it should bring people together..

7. I dont brag about myself or what I have done... I brag about others and what they have done... Is that not how it should work???

8. I come from a broken family.. The parent who I use to hate for the things that had happened to me in the past I now love. The parent who pretended to be my best friend through it all growing up who really caused most of the pain I hardly speak to now... I love my Step mother, and my brothers even though I dont talk to them as much as I should are my best friends.

9. I know who I am and what I believe.... but I am easily lost in the scheme of things and will be the first to admit that..

10. I really do believe in love... But I believe it is something that must be hard fought for.


Hi Im blake.... and you have pondered onto my Blog.. I always have way to much to say and so few to listen.






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