Saturday, January 31, 2009
I love this @ 11:15 PM
so.... this is amazing and I love him haahah... well just listen and enjoyyy
Sunday, January 25, 2009
dallas and then some! @ 11:21 PM
so dallas was fun. we had 4 star italian stayed on the 18th floor of a 4 star hotel rode the tram shopped and basically just did are thing while figuring the real stuff out as well…
we found our loft its cute and just perfect by all means. we already have it mapped out and the plans are going to work out just perfectly! now for the small stuff.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I have stories that need to be told!!! @ 10:15 PM
I absolutely hate that no one listens... No matter how much I insist on denying it everyone craves to be loved... Part of this love is having the person(s) that love you actually take time to listen to your pointless yet personally meaningful stories of daily adventures....
So here is my pointless story... I was sitting in my speech class yet again wondering what on earth have I done... The girl who sits infront of me is this slightly overely asseretive mixed girl with way to much input... As my speech teacher yet again attempts to make a joke about Wendy (the daughter of the now past Steve Irwin) the girl infront of me says a mouthful of useless jargin.... and I accidently say out loud... "wow she is fucking annoying!" needless to say something that was meant to stay in my head was heard by the entire class.... AWKWARD!!!!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
My day... and my list I posted on facebook @ 10:07 PM
Wishes every moment in my life was equivalent to that of when I smell fresh coffee in the morning and I have absolutely nothing on my mind except where my keys are... I wake up fresh.. thinking everything is going to be just fine, and people are going to be equal.. And then I realize... Nothing is ok and no one is equal. The one you love does not love you and the one who loves you, well you do not love. Even when you are in love with someone and they are in love with you, your mind is playing games..... Does he/she really love me??? Eventually you get to the point in your relationship that you do things that either you or the other person cant forgive... and as far as forgetting that's not even within reach... Every moment your breathing your wondering am I where I should be... Am I all I can be??? Did I make the right choices??? Getting past that is easier said than done....
CAN YOU DO IT???
So I wanted to make a list of things that I think make me who I am as a person... Good and Bad.....
1. I have been in and out of the USAF
2. I am slightly allergic to chlorine
3. I am highly allergic to ants, sulfa, and strawberrys
4. I google EVERYTHING.
5. number 4 is in response to having been googled by parents...
6. I dont trust YOU
7. I keep secrets.
8. It is hard for me to make enemies
9. I am quick to judge and I am normally right
10. If I cant read who you are I am scared of you....
1. When I get in my car I dont think it automatically locks the doors fast enough so as soon as my door is closed I press that lock button!!!
2. I always seem to find the odd numbers in things... I set my volume on everything to an odd number. I never have an even number of socks.... etc etc...
3. I have lived enough in 24 years for 2 people....
4. I keep secrets.. Not because they are in fact secrets, but because I don't broadcast my life... There are enough upsets in life... why bring on more..
5. I NEED COMMUNICATION!!! In my life I have seen so many people die... from suicide and random horrible events... this has set me up to be one of those people that needs to know that everyone in my life is OK... If your on a trip or your doing something out of the norm please dont get pissed if I "bombard" you with random texts or calls... Its my way of saying hey I love you... DUH!!!
6. I am very much up to par on my history and current events... I love to argue my position... and I would love for you to argue yours... Dont let this separate us... it should bring people together..
7. I dont brag about myself or what I have done... I brag about others and what they have done... Is that not how it should work???
8. I come from a broken family.. The parent who I use to hate for the things that had happened to me in the past I now love. The parent who pretended to be my best friend through it all growing up who really caused most of the pain I hardly speak to now... I love my Step mother, and my brothers even though I dont talk to them as much as I should are my best friends.
9. I know who I am and what I believe.... but I am easily lost in the scheme of things and will be the first to admit that..
10. I really do believe in love... But I believe it is something that must be hard fought for.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I FEEL SO UNTOUCHED RIGHT NOW @ 4:00 PM
I need you so much right now I cant forget you Ive been crazy since the moment I met you!!
I love this song wowwww
So my weekend... I didnt do anything I did homework and then I invited Chris to a party that was actually really fun lol and we got asked a few times if we were a couple lol ahhahah awwww cute right...
Im about to have a movie night... and wait for someone to call me... I think the situation is so lame... If someone does not want to correspond with you... even when you feel like you need them and need to tell them things that are going on... They really dont care... I dont care how much they say they do... Thus.. I am crushed... and I know he wont call... so I am playing myself on my own emotions
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I have said hurtful things but... @ 11:27 PM
I have said hurtful things to you... But it is obvious that the only reason I would even waste my breathe is because I care... Being distant is ok... I understand how you feel and you are not 100% that I do... But I assure you ... I do... I am moving to Dallas in May and its set in my mind.. I always have these thoughts in my head and my ability to actually put them into words depends on how open I am feeling... I want to be open I want to tell you how amazing you are... And when I told you I would be there I was not lying... I will.... Please trust me and please understand...
So blogging is way easier now because some awesome person made an application that goes on my phone.....
This morning I got up at seven and headed to the gym and ran and did cardio. Its the first morning of many to come... Right now im waiting on Andre. Its Andres second day of school and he is already late bahahaah..... I think he needs someone to wake him up every morning.... Any takers???
So..... tbc .... (183.2)
so my classes were pretty amazing...... every single one of my teachers seems to be legit.... to legit to quit .... I am really excited about psychology and speech. BTW I am in lust with a boy in one of my classes oww owwww hahaaha BS....
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
long few days @ 8:32 PM
So my weekend in dallas was amazing! On the ride home all I wanted to do was tell somebody about my adventures... I called Brenna and Andre and they didnt answer... so I called Cody.... it was kinda a big deal...... why probably because I have trouble talking to anyone who has made me feel bad... So to my suprise he answers and I go right into it and he says hey can I call you right back? He never does.... what a douche bag move...
So today i switched my schedule around and my books only cost like 350 yayyyyy.....
I am getting excited about moving to Dallas its as if I belong there..... I am pretty sure I do... on Friday the 23rd I am having dinner in Dallas with Andre his Uncles and my Aunt... Lets complete my circle....
Friday, January 9, 2009
IT blows me away! @ 11:10 PM
You said "that you hate me, im impossible, insane, hateful, and an 'ass' but positively charming all the same!"
I say that I could never hate you, your slightly impossible, not insane, sometimes hateful, very easily an ass, and yes charming all the same!
I just asked if you still read my blogs Im waiting on a reply.... I wonder
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I wonder if you know??? @ 10:01 PM
So today was eventful.
10:00 a.m. Hit in the head with giant wood panel and cuts my hand!
10:02 a.m. Realize we dont have ANY first aid kit.
11:00 a.m. My friend/boss buys me my first soda of the year to make me feel ok
noon...... We super glue things to the bottom of the desk
12:05 p.m. we realized we had super glued ourselves!!!
01:26 p.m. Lunch/wonder if I have a concusion
02:26 p.m. Everyone laughs about what happend
03:00 p.m. superglue war resulting in lost arm hair and chemical reactions
03:22 p.m. Calender guy explains that he is in a relationship/ I ignore him
04:00 p.m. I have my first customer of the day
04:20 p.m. My customers daughter runs into the metal sign.
04:20 p.m. I laugh uncotrollably resulting in snorting.
07:00 p.m. I get off of work
07:05 p.m. I meet Andre at wal mart to help him pick out travel stuff
07:30 p.m. I start dinner for Lisa
08:20 p.m. dinner
09:30 p.m. Ab lounger/ perfect pushup time... and the PP is sooo hard
10:30 p.m. Guitar Hero and halo 3 with Lisa... she sucks at both ahahah
So the gate broke last night and maintenance said they fixed it. Well I get here this morning and Heather is struggling to get it to even move! So I take over and I'm cranking it up and the wood panel attached to it falls and hits me in the face and cuts my hand..... it hurt so bad...
Monday, January 5, 2009
so i bought my asics @ 1:05 PM
I splurged lol and I'm happy I did so! I spent $140 on my new shoes I really wanted them though and I needed a little motivation its a bit easier this way! I am going to st gregs to start it out right. Anyway lol so a turn of events... I've lost all trust and care for any relationship other than friendship... I think I am more capable of physical relationships right now than emotional. I am wanting to go to the holocaust museum this weekend and I just want to have someone to go with that will take it serious... its kind of a big deal. Hmm
......to be continued
So I am going to Dallas this weekend and spending time with my aunt Cindy which means im sure we will have alot of fun... Im looking forward to the spring I feel alot of dancing coming on again this year.. but way more and way less clothes lol haahh..
Sunday, January 4, 2009
BEAUTIFUL THING @ 11:31 PM
SO I have been wanting to do this for a while... I am going to TRY and watch all 50 movies on the greatest gay movie list. so number 2... because I already watched number 1 (brokeback mountain) was Beautiful thing... and
I def give it 2 thumbs up I loved it and it was just amazing... Makes you want to go back in that time when you were innocent and anything was possible...
I know the grass is greener there!!!! So its almost 11 and I am sooo tired but yet I still stay awake. So long story short I am wanting to go to the Holocaust Memorial in Dallas on Saturday and its become a bit of a hassle. hah but I have other news and I will list it...
As part of my new years resolution I will be changing my class schedule so I no longer have anything to do with me ex I am tired of aiding a liar. I also stood up for myself the last few days and decided not to help out James who totally takes everything for granted.
I am also excited about being back to normal in a few months to celebrate my beginning I am buying new asics tomorrow now thats what I call a happy boy. anyway... back to my movie.. ENJOY THE NEW SONG!!!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I care about you @ 12:21 AM
I care about you and ill do whatever to make it up to you!